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THE WAYS OF RECREATION OF NAVOI’S GAZELS IN RUSSIAN AND ENGLISH

THE WAYS OF RECREATION OF NAVOI’S GAZELS IN RUSSIAN AND ENGLISH
Shukurova Zilola, senior research associate, doctoral candidate

Samarkand State Institute of Foreign languages, Uzbekistan

Conference participant

As the subject of our research work namely practical work is taken Alisher Navoiy’s gazel and its translations. The research work aims for showing the importance of dealing with translation having known well ST (source text). The research work assures of impossibility of translation of poetry, especially gazels which belong to different type of languages. But a poet translator relying on his unique talent, artistic vision, knowledge background re-creates a poem. Let the poet obtain all those peculiarities, but if this translation lacks of pragmatic adaptation, if he doesn’t re-create phonetic means of ST, his translation wouldn’t attract readers’ attention. Coming to such decision we decided to cope with the task which has to show the role of immediate translation. And also we are looking forward to verifying peculiarities of arooz system, the sound of gazels which is mostly felt in the usage of radif (repeated in each line word), rhythm, and meter also used to create images. We know that Navoiy’s gazels attract Western poets, translators’ attention, they take interest in them and we deem our theoretical and practical work, will be used as a sample to create their own gazels in the native language.

Keywords: arooz, versification, ST, TT, SL, TL, translation, re-creation, gazel genre, bait (two lines of gazel), plot, content, differ, translation, another rhythm, image, immediate, pragmatics, adaptation, word for word translation.

 

Poetry is said to be the rarest miracle of mother tongue. Poetry can be classified as narrative and lyric. Narrative poems stress action, and lyrics songs. Lyrics poetry is characterized by brevity, melody and emotional intense. Lyrics have been the prominent type of poetry in the West and East for several hundred years.

Each nation has its own “poetic language”, own traditions, its versification. Some poets and translators say that distinction between languages, difference in versification assure of impossibility of translation of poetry, especially lyrics belonging to different type of languages. A poet translator relying on his unique talent, artistic vision, knowledge background re-creates a poem, deals with pragmatic adaptation. I share the idea of re-creation of a poem; the sound of a poem is not be translated. When we say the sound of a poem we mean its rhyme, alliteration, assonance.

Poets also rely heavily on the rhythm and meter to express meaning and convey feeling. Rhythm is the pulse of beat we feel in a phrase or in a line of a poem which has to be re-created by transition to another rhythm, to another poetic foot or by a blank verse.

The famous classical poet, founder of the Uzbek language Alisher Navoiy’s gazel and its re-creation can prove our theoretical conclusion. Navoiy (1441-1501) wrote 3122 creative works and from them 1666 gazels in Uzbek and more of gazels were translated into Russian. Forty poets and translators took part in that creative work. In our opinion they used word for word translation in their activity, they hadn’t had opportunity or ability to hear, feel the sound of gazels, and they tried to re-create mostly the form of gazels. Though so many years had already passed since Navoiy’s time his gazels were not translated into English. Of course we can mention the name L.Kmetyuk, whose translations given in the booklet “Pearls from the ocean”. But his translations don’t win high praise, as there neither rhythm nor rhyme, nor structure of ST re-created. Lately Dinara Sultanova, teacher of English, translator, poet by nature began dealing with translation, fairly with re-creation of Navoiy’s gazels [8, P.109].

So we carry out our work on the basis of translations done by Russian poet Vs. Rodzdestvenskiy and translations done by Dinara Sultanova into English. We deal with comparative analysis of translations done into Russian and English. We rely on the following method: Firstly we give word for word translation of the ST, then word for word translation of Russian text. We mark, notify their resemblance and difference, we keep to critical approach.

Then we give literary translation of the gazel in English and underline its pragmatic value if it deserves. Interpretation of the gazel of  Alisher Navoiy:

  • Alisher Navoiy
  • Ey nasimi subh,
  • Ahvolim diloromimga ayt Zulfi sunbul yuzi gul
  • Sarvi gulandomimg`a ayt
  • Bulki la’li hasratidin
  • Qon yutarmen dam-badam
  • Bazmi aysh ichra
  • Labolab Bodaoshomimg`a ayt
  • Kom talxu
  • Boda zahru
  • Ashk rangin bo`lg`onin
  • La’li shirin lafzi rangin
  • sho`xi xudkomimimga ayt
  • Qildi deb shomi hijron
  • ro`zg`orin tiyra nevchun
  • So`rmag`il mendanbu so`zni
  • Subhi yo`ql pari hajrida
  • nangu nomkim tark ayladim
  • ko`ngil otlig` hajr vodiysida
  • badnomimg`a ayt
  • Ey karomatgo`y
  • Ishim og`ozi
  • xud isyon edi
  • Sha’mi rahmat partavi
  • yetkaymu anjomimga ayt
  • Yo`q Navoi bedil oromi
  • Ey rafiq
  • Oromi g`am ichra
  • Holimni
  • Ko`rsang diloromimg`a ayt
  • [4, P.17-18]
  • D. Sultanova
  • O Gentle wind of morn my state To the delight of my heart tell curls-fair face like floweret to bony cypress tell
  • Been tempered by those lips ruby My heart time after time bleeds
  • Who enjoys holding jolly feasts My wine serverTell
  • The tongue so bitter
  • Wine as if poison
  • My tears soiled Whose lips-sweet Words colored
  • Playful self love
  • The time for the depart
  • The evening to be dim
  • And why Don’t tell me
  • Who cares for dim night not for day light
  • Fallen in love with her
  • Unwilling deeds Set myself free
  • In my dale where lovers part
  • To low praised soul tell
  • O fortune maker!Did the job
  • Private revolt It I can live kindled life
  • Tell Navoiy can’t take his ease
  • O friend! If his heart with sorrow nursed my state to mistress of my heart
  • [7, P.6-7]

 

 

 

  • Vs. Rojdestvenskiy
  • Ветер утра Чем душа полна
  • Все любимой Скажи А ликом роза Станом –кипарисом мне она
  • Скажи То что
  • Ради уст рубинов
  • Тщетно лью я кровь свою
  • Ей среди пиров сидящей с чашею вина
  • Скажи Все горечи желаний
  • Яду вина
  • Крови слез
  • Той, чьи губы слаще меда
  • Речь умом полна
  • Говоря В разлуке стал печален
  • Твой удел Зачем
  • Это словоНочи сердца
  • Что навек темна скажи
  • То, что ради милой девы
  • Честь и имяЯ забыл
  • Всадник сердца?
  • В дол разлуки
  • Правья скакуна? –скажи
  • Чудотворец! Дней начало
  • Мятежом отметил я
  • Озарит ли луч прощанья
  • Эту тьму до дна
  • Скажи Нет несущей утешенья Путник?
  • О тоске его и горя Той, что так нежна, скажи

 

By interpreting translations, firstly the translator must see to them what is similar in the re-created version with the ST, but not the very same. From that point of view the structure of the first bait re-created in both translations, the peculiar form of gazels, baits, radif (repeated word in the end of second line of each bait, rhymed words which have to be placed before radif, rhytm in the number of syllables are reproduced. The main content which tells that the lover suffered from his beloved one’s not being true to her lover. But at the same time both translations are not the very the same, but rather like the original text. It is true that all the baits have the same grammatical structure, the imperative mood is used. The main character of the gazel, the poet himself, as we found asks “wind” to tell his mistress about his woeful state. The poet bids “the breeze of down”, in translation into English, poet asks “gentle wind of morn”, in the Russian translation the poet simply addresses “wind of morning!” by the usage of an exclamation mark. The poet asks to tell about his state, and it’s given as “the state” in English but in Russian they sound as “tell what the soul is full with”. Of course, there concretization has been used, and it is normal according to the rule of translation. After narration the poet gives the description of his lover. And there we come across cognitive dissonance, that’s dissimilarity in the usage of words and word combinations which perform image bearing functions. Example: the word combination “zulfi sunbul” which is formed by usage of alliteration of the sound [r] [s] and [l] differs from the word combination “curl-fair” which is used by D. Sultanova, and it is not given in Russian, the combination “yuzi gul” which means “face flower” in both translation is given, only in Russian variant the word flower is given as a rose (concretization is used). The most difficult job is to give the equivalent to the word combination “sarvi gulandonim” which combines description of figure of a girl and her flowerlike beautiful appearance [1, P.58]. This word combination which carries out the main image of the girl is translated into English as “bonny cypress” and into Russian “cypress figured”. As we mentioned before, preserving the word cypress in both translations, translators show the national view point in comparing the beauty of girl’s figure to the cypress tree. Translator has to deal with pragmatic adaptation. This word combination into Russian translated plainly with the word “lover”. Later we decided to deal with words and word combinations and their re-created versions in English and Russian, verify their similarity and difference and the principles of word choice in re-creation of images.

The word La‘li which is used in the meaning of red lips, is translated into English as “those lips ruby”, into Russian “radi ust rubinov” instead of the word “lip” the word “mouth”, generalization is used. The word combination “Lafzi rangin” means the words which are colored. The words are translated as “her words are full of wisdom” into Russian. The words “shukh khudkom” mean “naughty” and “self-lover”. As we know Navoiy was the great master in creating images, in creating the beautiful art by means of words [6, P.17-18]. What kind of girl appears before of our eyes?  The image of a beautiful girl appears. But is she as beautiful as she depicted? The poet gave a hint that she is self-lover. Nov we come across the image of  beautiful but selfish, tormenter girl. In the next bait the poet discloses his mistress step by step. She doesn’t care of her found lover. She makes him feel pain, be sorrowful “with tongue” bitter, with “wine as poison”, forces his lover’s time to be dim, his life hopeless. Now we can see the image of a suffered lover more clearly. Crying for his mistress, for want of her his heart bleeds, his name is mentioned not with noble words, he wants his lover get aware of his woeful state.  He criticizes himself, deals with revolt, wants to live a happy life. Now he calls his mistress “badnom” that means the person who deserves not to be called by a good name. In the end the poet makes a reader come to right conclusion. While a human being feels pain, sorrowful, he can’t be at ease. It is so hard to live a happy life, as the life itself is tense, full of contradictions, conflicts. It is philosophy of life and also philosophy of love. Love is delight, love is torment. It is a human beings nature to cry for endearment, claim for a happy life. He has to find ways and methods to stand against misery and unjustness. Navoiy by devoting his life, his creations to the welfare of men becomes satisfied and delighted, though he lives lonely life.

Who frees himself from a fuss made by people and passes away to silent place, where one can be at ease. Navoiy lived and created when sufizm was imparted into minds and souls of some poets, men of pen, but Navoiy thought of material life and wanted his men to live a happy life, enjoy beauty and peace. We can’t say that he was unsociable, weak, had a need for help as it is given by Starostin. He complains of lack of lover, at the same time he says that he himself doomed to being loneliness. So we came to conclusion that the image of great Navoiy was not truly given by translator A. Starostin [3, P.347].

If we compare gazels translated into Russian and English, the structure of gazels, the form of versification, usage of radif and rhymed words are more notable than in English, but Russian translators for the sake of rhyme sacrifice the meaning of gazel, which makes an influence on creating images [2, P.102].

Interpretation of translations done on the following scheme:

Well known translator, scientist G. Salomov wrote that “Dealing with translation of poetry we must take into consideration the content, rhythm and art of the source text and re-creation those peculiarities.”[5, P.32]

In our research work we mostly dealt with means and ways of conveying structural semantic peculiarities, and recreations of images. In both translations outward form of ST is re-created. But inward form is diverged in Russian translation. There is no sound conformity, fluency, beauty of gazels.

When we have to draw conclusions, we dare say that the plot of the ST, its semantic value, main idea of gazels is not truly conveyed into Russian. All those shortcomings occur, come from of lack of knowing the language, habits, customs, and basic knowledge of SL.

Translator must be very careful of the usage of words, expressions which fulfill image bearing functions.

Example: The girl of oriental dwelling dares not say or order her fondling:

“Wait for me!” She feels shy, though she is naughty, fond of making tricks, she is keen on flirting. She could only hint that it might be she came.

By A. Navoi:

  • Kecha kelgumdur debon ul sarvi gulro’ kelmadi,
  • Ko’zlarimga kecha tong otguncha uyqu kelmadi.
  • Lahza-lahza chiqdimu, chektim yo’lida intizor,
  • Keldi jon og’zimg’a-yu, ul sho’xi badxo’ kelmadi.
  • Orazidek oydin erkanda gar etti ehtiyot,
  • Ro’zg’orimdek ham o’lg’onda qorong’u kelmadi.
  • Ul parivash hajridankim yig’ladim devonavor,
  • Kimsa bormukim, anga ko’rganda kulgu kelmadi.

TranslationbyVs. Rodzdestvenskiy:

  • Кипарис мой, - ты сказала, - жди меня! –и не пришла.
  • Я не спал всю ночь, - дождался света дня, - ты не пришла.
  • Поминутно выходил я на дорогу  ждать тебя,
  • Поминутно умирал я, жизнь кляня, - ты не пришла.     
  • Думал я, что опасалась ты соперницы – луны,
  • Но и в полной тьме забыла ты меня и не пришла.
  • Я в разлуке с милой пери, как помешанный, рыдал.
  • Кто смеялся молчаливо, кто – дразня: «Вот не пришла!»

Translation by D. Sultanova:

  • Having shown her will to come, my mistress that flower fail’d to come
  • And for my longing eyes that night, a sleep till all hours fail’d to come.
  • And long and long grieved I, stared at the road she used to walk along
  • Methought in love of hers would die, as my joyful liar fail’d to come.
  • For moonlit face of hers she cared, making it match the Moon in night
  • Tho’ my sky was dark as mine soul, my moon didn’t appear, fail’d  to come
  • Still been severed from my fairy, made my rains furiously fall
  • They all laughed at woe of mine, tho’ sense of humour shouldn’t have come.

Translators have to preserve national colorific features of ST. For instance, they must preserve the usage of the word cypress as it is used in source text while Englishmen don’t compare beauteous maiden to cypress tree. Translators must not modernize the language which was peculiar to ancient times, Therefore they must occasionally use archaic words, expressions as thou, thee, midst, me thought, gore, mistress. And some grammatical forms used in the creative writings of that time as fail’d, tho’ and have to use the word “and” to create melody and rhythm, peculiar to English versification.

It is better to use syllabic rhythm when we translate from English into Uzbek. When we translate from Uzbek into English poets should turn to rules of English versification.

In the end we came to conclusion that translation done into English is more close to the ST, more expressive, fluent and melodious.

 

References:

  • 1. Dictionary of Uzbek arooz. by A.Hojiahmedov . – Tashkent: “Shark”, 1998. P. 57-80. – 214 p.
  • 2. Navoiy asarlarining qisqacha lug’ati (Short dictionary of Alisher Navoiy’s creative works). –Tashkent “Fan”, 1993. - 310 p.
  • 3. Navoiy, Alisher Sakrovishnitsa misley (Treasure or wisdom) Publishing house. Tashkent: “Fan”, - 1968, P.347,  419. – 542 p.
  • 4. Navoiy, Alisher Pearls from Ocean Publishing house. Tashkent: “Shark”, -2000. P.17, 18. -143 p.
  • 5. Salomov G. “Do’stlik ko’priklari” (Bridges of friendship) –Tashkent: Publishing House after G’afur G’ulom, P.32. -  230 p.
  • 6. Selected gazels of Navoiy (In the Uzbek and English) –Tashkent: “Navruz”, -2015. P. 9, 15, 49. – p. 67.
  • 7. Sultanova D. Selected Uzbek poetry Publishing house. – Tashkent: “Navruz”, -2003. P. 6-7. – 83 p.
  • 8. Sultanova D., F. Halimova, Poetry and translation. – Samarkand: Samarkand State Institute of Foreign languages publishing house. P. 109. - 143 p.
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